Diligence As a Homemaker

“It was through the structure of home and family that God first gave men and women a chart for all of life, when it was perfect and untouched by sin… family was God’s original organization scheme for society, and home was the laboratory where human beings could learn to glorify God through the work, relationships, and purposes of their lives. Home would be the place where love for God and commitment to His purposes would be passed down from one generation to another.”

-Sally and Sarah Clarkson, The Life-Giving Home

We humans, women in particular, have been fed the lie by our society for the last several generations that homemaking doesn’t matter. Growing up I often answered the question “What do you want to do when you grow up?” with being a wife and mom as my response. This was almost always met with blank stares. Someone commented to me a little while back that they couldn’t imagine giving up all the training they went through for their job to simply stay home with their kids. We got interrupted by said kids before I could respond, but if I could have, here’s what I would have said: “My kids and husband are the greatest gift God has given me on this earth. There’s nothing I would rather do than spend my days with them. There are many, many people who can fill the teaching positions I had before becoming a mom. But I am the ONLY person who can be a wife to my husband and a mom to my kids. I would rather spend my years pouring myself out for the people who matter most, than giving the best of me to others I will never see again.”

None of this negates the value of work outside the home; my point is that if we really want to love our neighbors as Christ commanded, then we will, as Abbie Halberstadt pointed out recently in an Instagram post, start with “the closest of which, who will, by default, be our spouses and children.” My point also isn’t to convince you to become a stay-at-home mom if that’s not what God has called you to. My point is to help us refocus on the value of what we do inside our homes. Honestly, I get the appeal of going to a job everyday. A job usually comes with way more recognition and gratitude than being at home does; not to mention the paycheck attached to it. But I believe that if we really want to honor the Lord, we need to be diligent at home, regardless of our job choice. 

Diligence is defined as “constant and earnest effort to accomplish what is undertaken; persistent exertion of body or mind” according to Dictionary.com. This is the opposite of what we often see portrayed on social media when it comes to our homes. The “hot mess mom” has become a mantra for modern women who are struggling to keep up with their homes and feel like they’re neglecting their families. There’s definitely a time and place for being real and sharing our struggles; the problem comes when we stay in our struggles and never progress. I read a book recently on family discipleship; it was packed full of great ideas for incorporating small faith moments into your day with your children, and I took several ideas away from it to try in my own home. But there was this underlying narrative in the whole book that really bugged me; the author was more or less saying that it’s okay to do the bare minimum in family discipleship, and that if your kid hates reading the Bible together then you should just stop and try something else. Now I’m all for keeping things simple, and there’s been plenty of times where we have needed to change our approach to how we are doing things in our home, but we have to stop ignoring our responsibility to disciple our kids. And reading the Bible should ALWAYS be a part of our family discipleship. We have been called as Christians to be caretakers of all that’s around us. Think about Adam and Eve: their first home was the garden of Eden. What was their first job? Tending the land and animals around them. “Being fruitful and multiplying” (Genesis 1:28). These are things that happen in our home.

Now I want to clarify a few things: 1) Know that everything I’m writing here is something I had to first speak to myself. None of this comes naturally to me either, and I have to work at it daily. 2) Our work in or out of the home does not determine our salvation. “But now, since you have been set free from sin and have become enslaved to God, you have your fruit, which results in sanctification– and the outcome is eternal life!” (Romans 6:22). We have freedom in Christ, and that freedom leads us to do good works, the “sanctification” Paul is talking about here. We don’t have to just pull ourselves up by the bootstraps and try harder; if you are a believer, you have the power of the Holy Spirit working in you and equipping you to serve your family! 3) We all go through difficult seasons (illness, pregnancy/new babies, grief) where all we can do is the bare minimum in our homes (and sometimes not even that!). Don’t let the guilt of what you think you should be doing weigh you down when you’re already dealing with other, often heavy circumstances. Focus on rest and the people in front of you and know that the housework can wait. 

Wherever your life circumstances have you today, I hope you see the importance of prioritizing your family and home. Don’t listen to the devil’s lies when he tells you that washing the dishes or praying with your little ones is worthless. These things often feel mundane and pointless because we have lost sight of what really matters. Refocus on your “neighbors,” the people in front of you and let everything else fade away as you seek to serve the Lord in your home. Praying for each of you today!