When It’s Time To Quit: Thoughts On Abandoning Books

Most of us have felt pressure at some point in time to finish a book we didn’t really want to. It might have been the book you had to read for a high school English class (the one you maybe read the Spark Notes for?) or a book chosen for book club that you’re just not in to. I also think this idea that you HAVE. TO. FINISH. THE. BOOK. is extremely common among my parent’s generation, and especially among women. I’m going to flip the script here and say that I think it’s absolutely okay to quit reading a book you don’t like, and that I actually think it’s HARMFUL to your reading life to make yourself keep reading a book you hate.

What usually happens when you find yourself in the middle of a book you hate? I’m guessing one of two things: 1) You force yourself to finish and then don’t pick up another book for weeks because you’re so afraid you’ll be stuck reading another book you hate; or 2) you just let the book sit, not finishing it, but also not reading anything else because you feel like you have to finish it first. Can I point something out? This isn’t English class and reading isn’t a competition for the most books read or the hardest books read. There’s no prize for finishing the book.

What if instead we give ourselves permission to look at our reading (and how we feel about it) as merely data? What if instead of saying “What is wrong with me? Why can’t I finish this book that everybody else loves?” we instead ask why we don’t like it, use the data for future book choices, and then let the book go? There’s lots of reasons why you might want to quit reading a book, but I think there’s a few that are probably the most common.

1. You chose a book in a genre you don’t actually like, or the author writes in a style you don’t like. Historical fiction is my favorite genre ever; it is extremely rare for me to not like something written in this genre. Modern-day fiction is NOT my favorite; I rarely like things set in modern-day. But I still picked up an Emily Henry novel from the library to read on vacation next week; do I think it’s likely I’m going to enjoy it? No, but the storyline sounded interesting so I figured I might as well try it. Guess what? If I hate it I’ll just quit reading it and make a mental note not to check out anymore of her books. But you know what else? I also might love it, and if I had refused to get it because I was afraid of being stuck reading a book I might hate, then I would have missed out on a great story. I also know that some genres aren’t always wins for me, even if I love lots of books in them. For instance, I love reading fantasy, but fantasy is a really wide genre and not everything in it is a home run. I was homeschooled through sixth grade and my Mom used a lot of literature-based unit studies with me (much as I do with my own kids now). I honestly think I loved every book we read together except one: A Wrinkle In Time (GASP, I know, I know, this is considered a classic for many). I’m still so thankful my mom let me quit reading that book. I think she taught me such a valuable lesson about being true to who I am as a reader and not reading something just because it’s popular.

2. The book you’re reading has explicit content you aren’t comfortable with. Even if you’re able to flip through a book before buying, it is still so easy to find yourself in the middle of a book that goes against your values. I’ve abandoned many books over the years after realizing that they were full of bad language (I don’t mind if a book has an occasional curse word, but if a book is full of them then I usually chalk it up to bad writing; there are so many words out there that are so much better). I never feel guilty leaving books behind for this reason; again, this is going to be a personal decision based on discernment, like we have talked about before.

3. It’s just not the right season or stage of life for you to be reading this. A few years ago, my family went through a really difficult season involving our kids. At the time I was reading On the Edge of the Dark Sea of Darkness, the first in Andrew Peterson’s Wingfeather Saga. This series is a beautiful, faith-based children’s series that some have ranked up there with the Chronicles of Narnia, but at the time it just felt too heavy because of the things we were going through and some things in the book that felt similar (even if they really weren’t), and I had to stop reading it. Now it’s on my to be read shelf again, and I’ll hopefully get to it this Fall. Pay attention to the season you’re in and how it informs your reading life; when I had only little kids I was much too tired and worn out to read classics and long theology texts. My reading life was lean back then and consisted mainly of the newest Tracie Peterson or Karen Witemeyer books. And I don’t regret it! That was a season where I needed reading to be about refreshment, not growth. You might be caring for an aging parent, working long hours at your job, or dealing with an illness; be okay with letting go of the “harder” books for now; they will still be there waiting when life changes.

Finally, I want to speak to those of you who feel like you can’t finish any book at all; maybe you’re reading this going “okay, great, but what if I abandon every book I start?” I have absolutely been there before. I want to remind you of two things: 1) Be patient as you pay attention to what you need as a reader; you WILL get out of this “reading rut,” and I truly believe you will be a better reader, one who knows herself better because of it. 2) Show yourself some grace: remember reading isn’t a sprint, it’s a marathon. It’s okay if you don’t finish any books this month (or this season, or this year). Let yourself grow from where you’re at without condemnation. In the season I mentioned in point three, I finished ZERO books; normally, I read one-two books a week. But that wasn’t a season for reading, it was a season for extra presence with my family, for long periods of prayer and meditating on the Psalms, for emptying the “mental clutter” so I could focus on what was happening and what I needed to do. Mama, I’m praying for you today, that you will know God’s grace for whatever is going on in your life, and that you will step with confidence into who He’s made you to be. Keep trusting Him!